My AMBW Movement Rant-It had to be said!

I find men of all nationalities and persuasions attractive. I see nothing wrong with intercultural relationships and I support any sister who wants to pursue any possible combination. I am always so glad when I see my sisters happy in love but I have to admit, I am a little worried about a certain movement that seems to be gaining some momentum. PLEASE hear me out, my dears, because this could be the difference between heart break and joy.

Many of you may know about the AMBW or Asian Man Black Woman Movement. Basically, it's a movement that states that since both Asian males and Black women are often quite marginalized in the dating world, perhaps they should try dating each other. On the surface, it sounds pretty cool. But there is something creepy about it. Now bare something in mind: I am not speaking of the normal, every day pairing of AMBW, but rather this movement to pair them. Doesn't it just sound a little creepy to you? It makes both sides just look sadly desperate.

What bothers me ultimately is that it is clear that members on both sides have some sort of fetish and the quality of people being attracted to this movement is just low. Sorry. I can't tell you how many desperate Asian guys with "swag" I have seen talking like they were raised in Compton or Philly and basically perpetuating the negative black stereotypes that us normal black people have to fight everyday. What bothers me most, is why on EARTH would a black women who wants something different accept this hood/ghetto behavior from them? Where the fuck are your standards?

Now for those of you who are normal and just want to date a guy regardless of whether or not he's Asian, there are some things that you need to know.

1. First and foremost, he's a guy. Just like any other. He's not some special category of man and, in spite of what you see in the karate movies, he doesn't have super powers. He's just a dude. Burps like a dude. Farts like a dude. Puts his pants on just like any other dude. Don't expect him to just be able to bounce off of walls and leap from buildings, ok? Just be cool.

2. If he has a problem introducing you to his family or acts weird when he is with you in public or around his Asian friends-DUMP HIM! As I stated elsewhere, I am an abstinence advocate. It is just better not to have sex outside of marriage but if you do, I would certainly recommend waiting until you had known him long and met his family. There is just no better way of knowing whether or not it's love or experimentation. If you are going to be part of his life, then you need to be an intimate part. By intimate I mean that you are in with his family and friends and you are enjoying all the benefits that comes with being someones life partner. If he can't give you that, then don't give him any of you! You must establish intimacy first. Remember-No Intimacy, No Sex.

3. You do not want to be fetishized so you also shouldn't be fetishizing anyone else. Like I stated in point one, all men are pretty much the same. It has always baffled me when people say they have a "thing" for someone of another race. If you have a "thing" you have a problem. Now I am not talking about being physically attracted to certain features. I mean actually attributing some otherworldly quality to someone because of their race or ethnicity. If you recognize a general shared value system, for example, Asian men usually value marriage and are very involved with their children, that's one thing. BUT if you assume that Asian men possess superpowers then you have a serious delusion.  What you should be looking for is who you share values with. Find out what you value first and then look for that in another person. If you are religious, look for someone who shares that same zeal. If you are passionate about your political leanings, find someone who shares them. Color, ethnicity, race- those are just details to be worked out after. Now if he is Asian, his family's values are also going to be a major part of his life. Traditionally, Asian parents are influential all throughout adulthood and he isn't going to choose between them and you. It will always be them. You have to decide if you want to be a trailblazer or not.

Now let me tell you what prompted this little rant of mine. On my Youtube page, I often subscribe to sisters who are swirling and I have subbied to a few AMBW girls.  By doing such, I get all kinds of recommended videos and I have come across so many from BW that just make them look sad and pathetic. Shamelessly chasing Asian men, stalking them and speaking for all black women. I have to honestly say that I am shamed and embarrassed at some of these girls. I cringe when I watch these vids.Now, I always knew that something was odd about these various groups but then I came across an Asian guy who got so sick of seeing, he had to call the shit out.

*IMPORTANT NOTE: Since first finding that video, I have not particularly cared for the guy who made it and after reading some more of his comments recently, I will not be linking to his page or giving him views. I can't stand him.*

Ladies: is this what you have been reduced too? Getting rightfully chastened online by somebody like this? Seriously? Wow.

I am sickened by what I have seen from this thing and I never thought dating an Asian guy would be all that different from dating a white guy but if this is the kind of community they are building, I wouldn't want to be a part of it for my life. My main complaint is that ultimately, there is no kind of vetting to ensure that proper standards of behavior and decency are being maintained and clearly no way of ensuring that fetishists are screened. Now please don't think my criticizing of black women involved in this in anyway means I am giving an excuse to Asian males, who are really no better. I know of a particular site run by an Asian male with a very shady history and it baffles me that black women and Asian men alike, knowing this still go there, but whatever. My point in addressing black women is that theirs is the behavior that is going to affect me  and that is why I am saying what I am saying. 

Please step back and take a look at yourself. You are proving stereotypes to be true. Put down the K-dramas and and the J-pop and come out of that fantasy world and realize that men are just men, no matter what they look like or where they come from. You are representing black womanhood and from what I have seen, many of you are not putting us in the best light and you most certainly aren't representing me.

I just had to get this off of my chest and I hope I have not offended AMBW members who are sincere in their love for the spouse/partner and are equally bothered by some of the behaviors I have described. If you are still open to it I say go for it, but I would recommend staying away from some of these groups and some of these Youtube people because they are cray-cray. Just meet somebody in a library or at the mall or the grocery store and strike up a conversation. Let them know you are interested and be yourself. It's easy.