Always look out for and be loyal to your friends! Black girls make great friends. Peace.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Always look out for and be loyal to your friends! Black girls make great friends. Peace.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Friday, March 22, 2013
Monday, March 18, 2013
Yes my dears! After a too-long hiatus, I have returned. Did you miss me? I know you did. My "vacation" was much needed but here I am all chilled out and cool and ready to share my genius once again. Now I'll make this little intro short and sweet as it is late and I need to work on some future posts. There are going to be some changes and here they are:
1. I will no longer be focusing much on issues that pertain the BC. I give up! I will ONLY be addressing those issues that affect BW and I will delve into them in depth.
2. I will refrain from using profanities on my blog from now on. I just looked over it and they are really needless to make my point.
3. I will revisit some posts that I had said I would work on. I don't know how soon I will be able to get them all up to date, but I will be making more effort.
4.I will be less personal. Not that I don't love putting all my business out there, but I really want a different approach to this blog because I don't want it to be about me, but about US!
5.I hope to make greater strides in the BWE movement as far as making sure that sisters know and understand the premises of this movement and how to properly vet so called members.
6. I will make references to issues in popular culture as they relate to BW and give YOU the opportunity to give your opinion and feedback.
7. I want to introduce you to some of my favorite people and share their work.
Well, there is lots more I plan to do. I got TRW's coming up and I am still working on what design I think works best for my blog. Let me know if you've got suggestions. Love yas! Peace.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
I just got off the phone with a relative. I told them that I wanted to see a psychiatrist because, amongst other things, I believe I have OCD and I have had clinical depression for years. They became angry and told me that I don't need a psychiatrist, I just needed to "sit my ass down" and that I was a Strong Black Woman. I was shocked.
"Lot's of people have OCD. Who cares?"
But it is ruining my life.
"You just take everything as a learning experience and then you move on."
But this thing is crippling my life. I need help.
"Being a Strong Black Woman doesn't mean that you can't have a break down. It means that you don't let situations in life keep you down and you just keep going."
"I'm seeing the psychiatrist." I said. "Whatever." they replied, "I don't agree." *click*
And this is why we are dying.
Why is seeking professional help from a trained, knowledgeable and licensed therapist a sign that I, as a Black Woman, am weak? Who ever said that my being born a black female should mean that an essential part of my humanity- the right to succumb to pain- should be invalidated? How am I stronger than anyone else? Why do I have to be super human? Does God not count my tears?
Last week, I was reading Youtube comments on the trailer for the movie Dark Girls. The two comments rated the highest were ridiculing the women in video for complaining instead of celebrating their color and one even said that dark skinned girls aren't the victims they make themselves out to be. Why is it that when other people kick us down, they turn around and ridicule us for crying out in pain?
What kind of people are they? What right has anyone to reduce me to a color or to a stereotype that strips me of all the DNA and privilege of being a human? I am in the worst and most incredible amount of pain that I have ever been in. I can't tell you how many times this past month alone I have considered suicide. I am drowning inside. I am suffocating. Sometimes I really do think it would be better if I wasn't here. What on earth did I do to deserve such dismissal of my life? What human law did I violate that renders my crushed and bleeding soul invisible? What. Did. I. Do.? I will never understand it. Why would you care? If you aren't going to be there for me and support me when I tell you that I am hurting, then just what the fuck do you care if I go and get myself help? If you aren't going to save me, then what is it to you if I save myself? If you aren't going to wipe my tears, then why let it bother you if they're falling? I'm cracked. I just don't know how else to say it. I'm absolutely shattered and I don't know how to get myself back together.
Why does my breaking heart offend you?
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
I find men of all nationalities and persuasions attractive. I see nothing wrong with intercultural relationships and I support any sister who wants to pursue any possible combination. I am always so glad when I see my sisters happy in love but I have to admit, I am a little worried about a certain movement that seems to be gaining some momentum. PLEASE hear me out, my dears, because this could be the difference between heart break and joy.
Many of you may know about the AMBW or Asian Man Black Woman Movement. Basically, it's a movement that states that since both Asian males and Black women are often quite marginalized in the dating world, perhaps they should try dating each other. On the surface, it sounds pretty cool. But there is something creepy about it. Now bare something in mind: I am not speaking of the normal, every day pairing of AMBW, but rather this movement to pair them. Doesn't it just sound a little creepy to you? It makes both sides just look sadly desperate.
What bothers me ultimately is that it is clear that members on both sides have some sort of fetish and the quality of people being attracted to this movement is just low. Sorry. I can't tell you how many desperate Asian guys with "swag" I have seen talking like they were raised in Compton or Philly and basically perpetuating the negative black stereotypes that us normal black people have to fight everyday. What bothers me most, is why on EARTH would a black women who wants something different accept this hood/ghetto behavior from them? Where the fuck are your standards?
Now for those of you who are normal and just want to date a guy regardless of whether or not he's Asian, there are some things that you need to know.
1. First and foremost, he's a guy. Just like any other. He's not some special category of man and, in spite of what you see in the karate movies, he doesn't have super powers. He's just a dude. Burps like a dude. Farts like a dude. Puts his pants on just like any other dude. Don't expect him to just be able to bounce off of walls and leap from buildings, ok? Just be cool.
2. If he has a problem introducing you to his family or acts weird when he is with you in public or around his Asian friends-DUMP HIM! As I stated elsewhere, I am an abstinence advocate. It is just better not to have sex outside of marriage but if you do, I would certainly recommend waiting until you had known him long and met his family. There is just no better way of knowing whether or not it's love or experimentation. If you are going to be part of his life, then you need to be an intimate part. By intimate I mean that you are in with his family and friends and you are enjoying all the benefits that comes with being someones life partner. If he can't give you that, then don't give him any of you! You must establish intimacy first. Remember-No Intimacy, No Sex.
3. You do not want to be fetishized so you also shouldn't be fetishizing anyone else. Like I stated in point one, all men are pretty much the same. It has always baffled me when people say they have a "thing" for someone of another race. If you have a "thing" you have a problem. Now I am not talking about being physically attracted to certain features. I mean actually attributing some otherworldly quality to someone because of their race or ethnicity. If you recognize a general shared value system, for example, Asian men usually value marriage and are very involved with their children, that's one thing. BUT if you assume that Asian men possess superpowers then you have a serious delusion. What you should be looking for is who you share values with. Find out what you value first and then look for that in another person. If you are religious, look for someone who shares that same zeal. If you are passionate about your political leanings, find someone who shares them. Color, ethnicity, race- those are just details to be worked out after. Now if he is Asian, his family's values are also going to be a major part of his life. Traditionally, Asian parents are influential all throughout adulthood and he isn't going to choose between them and you. It will always be them. You have to decide if you want to be a trailblazer or not.
Now let me tell you what prompted this little rant of mine. On my Youtube page, I often subscribe to sisters who are swirling and I have subbied to a few AMBW girls. By doing such, I get all kinds of recommended videos and I have come across so many from BW that just make them look sad and pathetic. Shamelessly chasing Asian men, stalking them and speaking for all black women. I have to honestly say that I am shamed and embarrassed at some of these girls. I cringe when I watch these vids.Now, I always knew that something was odd about these various groups but then I came across an Asian guy who got so sick of seeing, he had to call the shit out.
*IMPORTANT NOTE: Since first finding that video, I have not particularly cared for the guy who made it and after reading some more of his comments recently, I will not be linking to his page or giving him views. I can't stand him.*
Ladies: is this what you have been reduced too? Getting rightfully chastened online by somebody like this? Seriously? Wow.
I am sickened by what I have seen from this thing and I never thought dating an Asian guy would be all that different from dating a white guy but if this is the kind of community they are building, I wouldn't want to be a part of it for my life. My main complaint is that ultimately, there is no kind of vetting to ensure that proper standards of behavior and decency are being maintained and clearly no way of ensuring that fetishists are screened. Now please don't think my criticizing of black women involved in this in anyway means I am giving an excuse to Asian males, who are really no better. I know of a particular site run by an Asian male with a very shady history and it baffles me that black women and Asian men alike, knowing this still go there, but whatever. My point in addressing black women is that theirs is the behavior that is going to affect me and that is why I am saying what I am saying.
Please step back and take a look at yourself. You are proving stereotypes to be true. Put down the K-dramas and and the J-pop and come out of that fantasy world and realize that men are just men, no matter what they look like or where they come from. You are representing black womanhood and from what I have seen, many of you are not putting us in the best light and you most certainly aren't representing me.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Now. To the Toon! "Choose Wisely!"
What I was trying to achieve here is truth. Brutal truth. There simply is no "community" as a community would nurture, protect and guard the dignity of all it's members. Unfortunately, I feel that one too many (ok, the vast majority) Black Women simply believe that they come from a strong community for know other reason than they simply want to believe it. But the cold hard truth is that Blackistan is not a place of love, nurture and affirmation- its one of brutal assault on their psyche and spirits and no one but other Black Women come to their defense.
How much longer, dear sister, are you going to allow yourself to be spat upon? How much longer are you going to keep the scales over your eyes? It is now or never. Make the choices in life that are best for YOU. Never, ever believe that in order to get love, you must contort yourself into the fantasy of sick males. It is your goddess-given right as a woman- the one who nurtures and sustains life- to be protected and loved. I honestly ask you to look around and see what is going on. Before you get all upset and say I am "betraying the race" consider my argument. And why wouldn't you? Every time some black male criticizes you listen and tell your self that you are just taking constructive criticism. Why not listen to me, your sister and the one who can not stop sharing your same experiences no matter what. Look at the rape statistic, blatant misogyny and ill-treatment of women in the black community. Why do the men rally around the Tookie Williams and Genarlo Wilsons, but not the Rekia Boyds or Marissa Alexanders? What other cultures allow it's so called "cultural music" to openly denigrate and/or erase it's women? I am begging you to wake up. You have never known the degradation of being a slave master's whore because your grandmothers before you fought for your dignity. So why do you still allow your self- which has been bought at so precious a price- to be slandered by any so-called "community"?
You will either fight for your own happiness, or be sacrificed for someone else's. And haven't we as Black Women already sacrificed enough?